One of my family’s favorite things about Shabbat is hosting guests from literally all walks of life. I love showing our kids the breadth and depth of the mosaic of Jewish community today (and luckily my wife has gotten used to me bringing home random strangers)!
A few weeks ago, I was in a kosher market on a Friday and noticed a young Hasidic couple, obviously on vacation, talking in Yiddish while looking for some Shabbat takeout. There aren’t many Hasidic Jews here in Los Angeles and I enjoy learning about different Jewish cultures, so I approached them and utilized my best sales skills to convince them to come over for a home cooked Shabbat dinner instead. After a lot of cajoling, they finally agreed.
When the couple showed up at my house, they looked hesitant but excited for a new experience. For my part I expected to hear a pretty predictable life story similar to the other Hasidic visitors I’ve hosted over the years. But before I got the chance to begin my usual guest interrogation, the husband turned the tables on me and asked what I did for a living. I responded that I work for a nonprofit that I doubt he has heard of, which provides Jewish community and programming to Jewish grad students and alumni around North America. I was about to start explaining what graduate school was but his response absolutely floored me:
“Oh, so you work for JGSI?”
(It takes a lot to shock me, but our girls told me later that my jaw actually dropped open.)
“How in the world have you heard of JGSI??”
“Because I go to your events at Cardozo Law School in NYC!”
He then told his inspiring story about how against all odds, he had worked hard to get into law school all while maintaining his Hasidic traditions. Then his wife shared that she came from a similar background and was herself now halfway through a PhD program! I had not one, but two Jewish grad students at my table!!
I should have known better. It hurts to say it but at times, as a visibly observant Jew I myself have felt prejudice from others in the Jewish community. People assume things about my background, my views, and even our nonprofit because of the way I look. This used to bother me a lot, but experience has taught me that if given the opportunity to have a real conversation with someone, all mistrust and judgment usually fall away. It’s hard not to judge others, but Jewish wisdom teaches us “not to look at the bottle, but at the wine inside,” and I try my best to apply this to my own life every day.
I learned a lot from this inspiring young couple. For one, I got to see just how wide JGSI’s reach is spreading which is amazing even to me! But more importantly, I realized that for all those worries I have about other people judging me too quickly, I am sometimes guilty of the same thing myself. Lesson learned!
Here's to constantly working on not being too quick to judge!
